Frankly, Ranma Saotome
by Shrine Maiden Kitty
Summary: A day in the life of Ranma surrounded by hisher wacky friends. My first Ranma fic!


Okay everyone, I'm back, and I'm here to try out something new. If no one was aware, my latest obsession since Christmas has been the infamous story of Ranma ½! It's wacky, and zany, and can even be quite endearing! So here's going to be my first one-shot, Ranma ½ story, starring my favorite character, the adorable Ranma/Ran-chan! ENJOY!  
  
Ranma ½ is owned by the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi!  
  
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Frankly, Ranma Saotome  
  
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A girl the age of sixteen sat on her covers early one Saturday morning playing with her long braid. Her hair was an incredible shade of scarlet and her eyes were as blue as sapphires. She yawned and then proceeded to look over to her right lazily only to lay eyes on a snoozing giant panda. "Lazy Pops," the girl muttered before stretching and pulling herself out of bed. The overly large black tank top barely covered her chest as it hung loosely on her perfect tiny frame. The black boxers she also wore fit a bit better over her wide hips and bottom, though it seemed that the rim had been folded a few times to make them cooperate in this fashion.  
  
"Stupid Ryoga," she muttered as she carried a towel quietly down the hall to the washroom. She distinctly remembered the prior night being attacked by a bucket of cold water just as she was getting ready for bed. She spent only minutes running around the house, screaming like a maniac after her fiancé's "pet" piggy, "P-chan", before giving up on the squealing little creature with the yellow bandana before deciding that she was just too tired to deal.  
  
You see, this beautiful young lady isn't really a young lady at all. She's actually a sixteen year old young man that's been trapped inside of a female's body. And a very attractive young female at that. She stepped into the washroom and quickly discarded her clothing, and sat down on the stool to bathe. It seemed that someone had already been awake, for the bath was still drawn and warm. As soon as the warm water touched her flawless skin a transformation seemed to take place, and then there sat a very handsome young boy. His dark hair dripped into his cloudy blue eyes as he mumbled to himself as he washed. Some things are just better left unexplained.  
  
Quickly, a small black piggy runs into the room and jumps into the bath where the dark haired boy was soaking. Then there were two young men in the tub, and the one with the yellow bandana whispered, "You are a dirty dog, Ranma Saotome!" "G'Morning to you too, Ryoga! Or should I say... P-chan?"  
  
And that's when the first brawl of the morning began.  
  
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Ranma's POV  
  
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After I beat the crap out of Ryoga this morning, I decided it was time for breakfast. I could smell Kasumi's heavenly cooking all the way down the hall; man could that girl cook! Nothing like her stupid tomboy of a sister, Akane, who unfortunately was presently my fiancé by a family arrangement. The mayhem didn't truly start until me and that ungodly, dare I say, girl were put into a room together. Better yet, if you equipped her with a stove, cooking ingredients, and a bunch of hungry men, they would all be dead before she could even wallop them for "speaking to her inappropriately".  
  
"Ohayo, Ranma," Kasumi greets as I enter the kitchen. I spy Soun Tendo already at the table with a newspaper in his hand. Typical Mr. Tendo. Sometimes I wonder about the guy though, what with that demon head he has when it comes to Akane and I. Our fathers just about flip their lids when we don't get along, which is quite often considering how uncute the girl is. On most days I strut around her in my female form just to prove that I am better than her at everything, even being a girl. Because damn, I'm hot, and I'm no pervert.  
  
"So what will it be, Ranma?" I hear Kasumi I ask. I stare at Nabiki across from me, painting her nails. "Toast is fine, thank you," I reply. Blue is really no colour for Nabiki. Certainly not. Before I can comment on Nabiki's strange choice of nail colour, I hear someone out of breath come from behind me and sit down next to me. "Yo, Ryoga! Did you get a good workout this morning?" His dark eyes only glare at me before he sits there and pouts, silly Ryoga. Sometimes I feel sorry for the guy when he loses, because he is a very worthy opponent, my favorite rival. But it's other times, such as those when he snuggles among Akane in the night disguised as her pet P-chan, that I want to make him suffer an untimely and painful death. The poor girl is so thick; I don't think she'll ever figure it out.  
  
"When did you get here, Ryoga?" Nabiki asks uninterestedly as she stares at her horrifying nail job with content. I see the boy next to me shrug as he turns down a breakfast offer from Kasumi. I know why he's sitting here for no reason, and I can tell you he's wasting his time. He's waiting for that lazy tomboy of a girl to "awaken from her deep slumber" so he can ogle over her like she's a model. Ryoga sure has weird taste in women, but it's only right for him not to love my cute piece of one considering it's still ME on the inside. I'm sick enough knowing that Kuno craves my female façade, and adding Ryoga to the list would only make me puke.  
  
"He just showed up this morning in the bath," I smirk, and I see Ryoga glare at me. "It was a wonderful wakeup to see his mug first thing in the morning!" "In any case, we're pleased that you've come to visit," Kasumi smiles.  
  
"Here you are, Ranma," she says as she sets down my breakfast and scurries off to sweep the kitchen. I quickly down my breakfast before heading outside, Ryoga following me for some reason. Oh well, he can do whatever he wants; it's none of my business. I sit down on a large rock overlooking the pond to think. I hear Ryoga sit down and do the same.  
  
"So why did you show up this time, Ryoga?" I ask calmly with my eyes closed. What? Do you think I'm a jerk all the time? I do have human decency! I feel him smirk, but it doesn't faze me. "It's really none of your concern, Saotome," he replies, "but I came to visit Akane." I nod; typical Ryoga. But his return was rather quick considering his terrible sense of direction. He's the only person I know who can get lost in his own backyard. I sigh before deciding to leave it at that. No reason to get Ryoga all riled up again, I know his intentions are good but... I do not intend to give Akane away so easily! ...Did I just think that?  
  
I feel a presence closing in on me quickly and before it can strike me I flip backwards. "Ranma, you jerk!" Akane squeals as she chases me around the backyard in her nightclothes. I truly don't know what I did this time, but sometimes I think she just likes tying to kill me. The onslaught ends quickly though when she realizes we have an audience.  
  
"Oh, hello Ryoga! I didn't know you were here!" Obviously, you stupid girl, if only you knew his dirty little secret. I pout knowing that the seemingly reasonless battle is over. And I was just getting warmed up too! I turn my back on them, and before I know it, that dumb girl pushed me into the pond!  
  
"What the hell?!" I squeal pulling myself out of the water. My clothes are now three times too big for me, and weighing me down a bit. Akane smiles at me evilly before turning around and sauntering back into the house, Ryoga on her heels. I stare down at myself, much smaller and more feminine than I was a few seconds ago. My shoes are floating around in the pond and I glare at the murky water before sitting myself back down on the rock. I'm not in the mood for another bath, so I'll just have to stay this way for a little while. No sense in wasting the perfect opportunity to piss off Akane, especially since she now deserves it.  
  
Smiling, I throw off my top and skip into the house topless, ignoring the blank look Soun is sending me. He should be used to me parading around the house topless by now, it's not my fault I have no sense of feminine modesty. That's just expecting too much from me. I go into Akane's room where I see her and Ryoga sitting on the floor chatting about something mindless and boring. Ryoga blushes slightly and looks away from me and Akane only glares.  
  
"Ranma, what have I told you about walking around without a shirt on?" she yells and I shrug. "I need clothes," I state, ignoring her burning glare. You'd think that I'd be on the floor in a daze by now from her fist, but by now she's pretty used to me raiding her closet. Her panty drawers are off limits though, thank the Lord. I pick out a tight T-shirt and a pleaded skirt to her dismay. She walks away and pulls something out of a drawer and hands it to me. I look down at what's in my hand... a BRA?!  
  
"If you're going to act dress like a girl do it PROPERLY. It's gross when you walk around like that with everything showing!" I think poor Ryoga just had a nosebleed. Geez, he can be a perv in the most discrete ways! I frown and decide to play her stupid game, when my face lights up. I put on the stupid bit of clothing and just as I suspected, it's too small. "It's too small," I frown, knowing that this is the best way to get on her nerves. Akane can not get over the fact that I make a cuter, sexier girl than she does! Her head blows up and she starts screaming at me to get out of her room. I snicker and go to my room to change. I look good. Great. I skip out of my room and out the front door, deciding to take a day out to the town, no sense in staying around that hellhole all day.  
  
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I was enjoying my walk through the park for about fifteen minutes before I was landed on by a certain Chinese Amazon. That's just what I needed, Shampoo, of all people, to come and rain on my Saturday. "Nihao, Ranma! You come see Shampoo?" the deranged girl squealed as she just about glomped me to death. Does this girl ever give up? "Ranma, you date with Shampoo?" Apparently not. "Shampoo, we've been over this before," I sigh, trying to gently peel her off of me, "but I'm engage to Akane, that means no dating anyone." She nods slowly and just as I think that I've gotten through to her, I prove myself wrong once again. "Then... you date with Shampoo tomorrow? Eight o' clock! No be late!" And with that she dashed away. By her outfit, I'm guessing she was off to work at the Cat's Café. Oh well, at least she won't bother me anymore.  
  
I looked at my watch and it was almost noon. I sat down on a bench in front of the lake and sighed. How did I get myself into this life? Sure, I could blame Pops for knocking me into that spring back in China, but I mean, that wouldn't do me any good. Will I ever be normal again? Leading the life I always wanted to as a GUY? And now I have so many enemies that it's sickening. Everything's always revenge this, fight me that, love me today, I'll kill you tomorrow. Nothing is ORDINARY anymore. I miss the day when it was just my father and I, traveling Japan and China, training to be the best heir to the Saotome School of Indiscriminate Grapping that I could be.  
  
One tear slid down my face in frustration and I cursed this female body for subjecting me to these strong emotions. When I'm a guy, I do have a heart, I have a HUGE heart, but when I'm a girl the world seems a little bit softer. And when I'm sad, I seem sadder, when I'm angry, I feel more violated than usual, it's all so strange. Amidst my pondering, I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up to see Akane. She smiles at me sheepishly before asking, "May I sit with you?" I nod. To my surprise, she's wearing a pink sundress and her hair is pulled back in a ribbon like a headband. I stare a few seconds longer before averting my gaze back to the pond.  
  
"Ranma, I'm sorry for this morning. I shouldn't have pushed you like that. The reason was... well, I found a letter in my room this morning that said some mean things on it with your signature, and it hurt my feelings. I found out that it was just Nabiki playing a sick joke on me, so I felt really guilty. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions." I stare as she stares at her delicate pink sneakers, too shy to look at me. I blush, could Akane really be... cute? "It's alright," I say.  
  
"So you'll forgive me?" Akane looks at me with hope in her eyes. I nod. Before I know it, her arms are wrapped around me and I tense slightly. What is she doing? Hugging me...? I blush harder now as she realizes this too and quickly pulls away. We turn away from each other and then shake it off as if it never happened. "Uh, c'mon, Ranma, let's go back home." "Sounds good." She smirks and pushes me down and runs off yelling, "Catch me if you can!"  
  
"...She is so...so...UNCUTE!"  
  
Frankly, this is a day in the life of Ranma Saotome.  
  
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Owari  
  
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Eh... that really sucked, didn't it...? Yes, it did. Oh well. It was my first attempt at a Ranma story, so I guess review if you wish. One nice review will make me happy! Happy summer to everyone! 


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